Cranberry and Quinoa Pilaf With Roasted Brussels Sprouts

Ingredients:

• 2 ½ pounds of Brussels sprouts
• 1 tablespoon olive oil
• 1 1/2 cup quinoa
• 2 ¾ cup water
• pinch of salt
• 1/2 cup toasted almonds
• 1/2 cup dried cranberries if you can’t find any, don’t fucking sweat it
• 1/3 cup chopped parsley
• 1/2 teaspoon of salt
• 3-4 cloves of garlic
• 3 tablespoons red wine vinegar
• 3 tablespoons lemon juice (about 1 1/2 lemons)
• 2 teaspoons Dijon mustard
• 3 tablespoons olive oil
• pepper to taste

Directions:

• Heat the oven up to 400 degrees. Tear off any fucked up lookin leaves on the brussels sprouts and chop them into quarters (or halves if they are little). This might take a minute if your picked up some ugly sprouts. Toss em with a tablespoon of olive oil and a pinch of salt and spread them out on a baking sheet. Roast those motherfuckers for 25 minutes, stirring half way, or till the sprouts are golden and kinda burnt in some places. GOD.DAMN.DELICIOUS.
• Boiling these lil cabbage look-a-likes is why people hate brussel sprouts and it should be a fucking crime.
• While that's roasting, start on the quinoa. Throw it in a medium pot with the water and pinch of salt and bring it to a boil over a medium heat. Turn the heat down to a simmer, cover that shit, and let it cook for about 15 minutes or until all the water is gone and the quinoa is tender. Turn off the heat. While the quinoa is cooking, you can chop up the garlic and throw it in a small glass with the rest of the ingredients for the dressing and mix all that up.
• When the sprouts are done, toss them in a bowl with the cooked quinoa and the dressing. Mix that shit so that everything gets coated. Add the almonds, cranberries, parsley, salt, and pepper and mix again. Taste it and see if you need more salt or pepper or whatever the fuck you think it needs. Serve warm or at room temperature.